*Neb's Top 5 Can't-Live-Without-Them Holiday "Recipes"*

1) Coffee: add grounds, add water, brew. Flavors are good. Addition of liquor is permissible in the presence of Disturbing Relatives.

2) Chocolate: Find stockings hung over the mantle with care. Access candy. The perfect Christmas morning breakfast.

3) Asparagus Casserole: [My mom's recipe- I've made it before, but can't remember the precise details. I don't think you can really go wrong, though.] Layer asparagus, extra sharp cheddar cheese, and finely ground Ritz cracker crumbs in a casserole dish with pats of butter on each layer and a tiny bit of milk poured over the whole thing at the end. Bake at some kind of temperature, like maybe 350 or so, for awhile, you know, until it's quite hot all the way through and the cheese is melted and so forth. I would guess 30 or 45 minutes. I really have absolutely no idea how long. You kitchen people could probably guess better than me. Anyway, my mom always used canned asparagus, but I'm sure fresh would improve the taste- don't know how that might change the baking time. This is my absolute favorite dish at Thanksgiving.

4) Sweet Potato Souffle: [Again, this is one of my mom's Thanksgiving recipes, and I have made it before, but since it's somewhat complicated mine really didn't turn out the same as hers..] Let's see, you start by baking some sweet potatoes. How many, you ask? Well, get the casserole dish you're going to use for this recipe and see how many sweet potatoes will fit, I guess. Once the sweet potatoes are baked soft, scoop out the insides, and mash them with a lot of butter and some nutmeg and brown sugar. Then separate some eggs and beat your egg whites with an electric mixer until That Thing Happens (you know, that cooking thing that you're always looking for when you beat egg whites... "stiff peaks"? Is that what they call it?) How many eggs, you ask? Well... how many sweet potatoes did you bake? You need enough egg white material to match the amount of sweet potato innards you've got! Fold in the egg whites to the sweet potatoes, VERY slowly and patiently, to make them fluffy.

Add some more butter and brown sugar. Use a LOT. Really. [When I asked my mom for this recipe over the phone, she was, of course, trying to be more specific with quantities and stuff until she got to the butter. Then our conversation went like this:

Mom: "And then, you add LOTS of butter..."
Neb [writing]: "Okay... how much butter?"
Mom: "Well. [Pause] I really can't tell you how much butter I put in."
Neb: (sigh) "Mom, I know you put in a lot of butter. Seriously, it's okay. Just tell me how much."
Mom: [audibly blushing] "No. Really. I can't tell you how much butter I put in. I can't say the amount out loud."

I can just see the scene at the Pearly Gates, where [perhaps?] all of our Secret Deeds are revealed, with Michael the Archangel saying "YOU, Elizabeth W. ****, put SEVENTEEN STICKS OF BUTTER into that one casserole you made every Thanksgiving..."]

So then I think you sprinkle some more brown sugar on the top (it couldn't hurt, right?) and top with giant (S'more-sized) marshmellows, then bake (at 350 maybe? For some amount of time?) Yeah. Good stuff.

PS Now that I think of it, I think maybe you're supposed to take at least one of your egg yolks from the separation and mix that in too, and maybe a little milk. But it probably doesn't matter much.

5) Apple salad: Cut up about 3 apples and 3 bananas into tiny pieces. Place in a large bowl with 1 can of pineapple chunks (again, I'm sure fresh is better, but we always used canned), some mini marshmellows, and Cool Whip. Top with Marastachio(?) Those Bright Red Cherries that Come in a Jar and Begin with an M. Serve chilled.

In closing, a gratuitous baby picture:


Love, Neb